Paxada Day. 3-Month Reflections.

Oh. Happy. Day.

Canada Day was extra special this year.

Not only was it my Dad’s Birthday (Happy Birthday Mullet-Man!)

and Canada Day (Happy Birthday Country!)

but it has now been appointed Paxton’s Day!

This was the day that Jared & Amy were able to take P-man to the Temple and have him sealed to their family. Hurray! I am pretty bummed that I was stuck in Canada for this monumental event but I know that a good chunk of Amy & Jared’s friends and family were able to attend and celebrate with them, so that takes the sting out, just a little.

Jared & Amy are blessed to live very close to a Temple. In fact, you can see it from their front yard. It also happens to be on the way to the Wal-Mart in their area (love you, Wal-Mart!) and they often drive past it. Paxton has always been in love with the Temple. Whenever we drive by he looks at it and often asks to go inside.

Davis View of the Temple

Wish granted!

I am so delighted for the Davis Clan. They have been so patient and I am always so impressed with them. They deserve every happiness and I am blessed to be a part of their extended family.

While I was pregnant with Bennett and building my relationship with Amy & Jared, I would often tease that Bennett & I were a two-for-one deal. Well, now I am a five-for-one deal. The Davis Family is a very real part of my family, and a huge part of my life. They have a huge chunk of my heart and know me inside and out and I could not imagine being linked to a better family for all eternity. So, Future Husband (we can just call him Mr. Wonderful), you may be shocked to find out that you are joining such a large family, but we are the best there is. Our cul-de-sac in Heaven will be hosting Block Parties nonstop.

Speaking of Bennett,

I do have some new photos of him!

(And the crowd goes wild!)

Ta-Da!

Can I just say, 

and I know I say this all the time, 

but 

HOW CUTE IS HE?!

Seriously. 

I made that.

Weird, right?

SIDE NOTE: Bennett is rolling over. Crazy, yes? I joke that he only has to go ½ way, then gravity pulls his chunky baby body back to the ground.

Bennett and Teddy

I was showing a friend some photos tonight and I pulled up some pregnancy photos and it was surreal. I didn’t feel like that pregnant girl was me. I know it was me. I know I have a beautiful son. But it is so odd to think “that is me” and that it was only three months ago. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Maybe it is partially due to the fact that I am in Canada over the summer and am somewhat removed from the entire situation...but still, that feels like ages ago.

With Paxton’s sealing complete and Bennett’s three-month mark so close together I have had a lot on my mind. I have so much respect for Amy & Jared, and I hope I have conveyed at least a fraction of the love I feel for them. I am over the moon to see their family coming together, but when thinking of Bennett it comes with a pang in my chest.

Sometimes it is hard for me to think about Bennett’s Adoption being finalized and Bennett attending the Temple with them. Not that I don’t want him to be sealed to them. One of the most important factors when considering Adoption was that Bennett would be sealed to a wonderful family for time and all eternity. But when the Adoption is finalized, Bennett will receive a new Birth Certificate. My name will be removed and Amy & Jared will be listed as his parents.

Now, please understand that I do not feel as though Jared & Amy are removing me, but it almost feels as though the world is removing me. It is hard to feel as though I am losing one of our special connections when at times I feel there are few left. Jared & Amy honour me. They really do. And I know that will never change. I can have confidence that Bennett will know who I am, and how much I love him. They will help him understand that the situation I was in was less that superb, but that with Heavenly Father’s help, I was able to make the best decision for Bennett. We are all blessed because of him and he is my greatest treasure and joy. Placing him was the hardest thing I have ever done, the hardest thing I ever will do, but we did it, we are doing it, as a family, and Heavenly Father is watching out for us.

There is a movie called Mom at Sixteen.

Why yes, it is about a girl, who does happen to be 16, and she gets pregnant. She originally decided to place, but changed her mind after her son was born and parented for 5 months before realizing that the best thing she could do was make the best decision for her son; so she ended up placing him with a wonderful family that she formed a relationship with throughout the film.

There is a brilliant clip at the end of the film, the last few minutes, and it just brings me to tears. Happy Tears. But I LOVE it. I think it is so perfect.

This is my family. 
I may not have the last name Davis,

But I have a Davis heart.